Raising Lil Ladies

By Francine Cepeda Blacksher

I came up with a list of my 50 current intentional practices that have become a part of my daily routine with my daughters. This list has been developed over time. At first, I would implement one item as something to try, then after a while it became part of my relationship in raising them. When I was intentional and focused on one, it became automatic and routine. Then, I added another and found myself doing all 50 practices daily. It would require me to consistently address my own struggles and deep-rooted pains in order to gradually add one practice at a time, until it became consistent and natural.

The greatest value to this list is how you apply these items in your own life first. When you have not taken the time to work on yourself, you cannot get through these 50 things. You may not even be able to get through one of them, at first. Believe me, at times, I recognize that I am not able to do some of the items from my list. I take that moment to reflect, reinforce and refer to my list, especially number 50. It is when you are working on yourself and healing from those past situations, you can do these 50 things intentionally, even with a full schedule. My 50 intentional practices contribute to raising my little ladies and are the beliefs and standards that I hold for myself, knowing that my daughters are a reflection of me. 

1. Value their voice 
2. Spend quality time with them individually and collectively 
3. Listen with your heart 
4. Let them know you believe in them 
5. Invite their creativity and wonder 
6. Challenge them 
7. Laugh with them 
8. Dance with them 
9. Share mistakes you made and how you responded 
10. Talk stories 
11. Be a visual model of what you ask of them daily 
12. Ask them insightful questions on how you are viewed by them and how they view others  
13. Put your cell phone down 
14. Cook with them 
15. Create with them 
16. Share your struggles, journey and the results 
17. Pray with them for others, one another, and for them 
18. Share your positive relationships with men and women for them to see, hear and feel 
19. Make time for them to be surrounded by the amazing women that influence you positively  
20. Hug, kiss and cuddle with them immensely 
21. Protect them knowing only God is their ultimate protector
22. Value others similarities and differences 
23. Know your village
24. Sing loud with them 
25. Write notes to them 
26. Change up the routine at times 
27. Hold them accountable 
28. Teach them how your words match your actions and intent 
29. Model humility 
30. Model a servant leader 
31. Tell them how much you love them 
32. Allow them to make decisions 
33. Teach them your energy goes where your focus goes 
34. Take a stand for what is right and just 
35. Greetings and farewell’s are never forced only felt 
36. Read and watch about the journey of Jesus 
37. Share positive words of your body, hair and physical features 
38. Speak positively 
39. Learn integrity 
40. Help them to share and speak their truth 
41. Watch who they invite into their lives
42. Remind them to not let anyone steal their joy, even if it is you
43. Apologize when you mean it 
44. Allow God to be their greatest guide 
45. Teach scripture 
46. Build healthy routines 
47. Be silly 
48. Take risks
49. Trust the process and trust in yourself 
50. Remind them we are warriors and warriors never give up