“You Need Therapy”
“You need therapy!” What does that sound like? An insult? A call to action? Below are important reasons I say this phrase to people regularly and why we should all find a great therapist.
By the time my teenage years came around, depression was nothing new. I had struggled with my body image for my whole life and everyone who I talked with about it said my feelings were “totally normal” and “all girls my age feel a little insecure about their body”; “Suck It Up” was the message. It took me constantly missing school and disconnecting from my friends for my dad to make an appointment. However, by that point I was comfortable with my depression; it was settled in and had no reason to go anywhere. Needless to say this therapist had no chance of helping me. Mostly, because they didn’t want to, but partially, because I didn’t want their help.
I had a moment of clarity in which I called her; but after reaching out they neither answered nor returned my call.
I know this seems like a bleak story about a therapist relationship gone wrong but I needed this experience to appreciate what was coming.
When I made my cry for help as dramatic as possible my parents checked me into a mental hospital for over a week. There I had to break out of my shell and figure out how to battle with my mental illness. It was hard. In the hospital they give you a strict routine, monitor your meals, and use “booty juice” if you get out of hand (it’s a mild sedative, which I never had to have, thankfully) but the time taught me a lot about myself and looking back it was the most necessary experience of my life. After my week long stay in the hospital, I was invited to an outpatient group of teens that met for a few hours after school three days a week; and after graduating from the program, I had the opportunity to come back one day a week. I loved the growth I saw in myself AND every other person in the group. We all had different struggles and coping methods, but in the end we were all trying to get better. Additionally, we felt safe to experiment with our lives and talk about what did and did not work with our therapist in a judgement free place.
Now that I’m an adult, my relationship with my then therapist has shifted, and she is now my life coach, and if I ever need to talk to someone she has my trust. But, if I needed to find someone to go to that is geographically closer to me I would have the confidence to know my standard of therapy. These stories emphasize why getting a therapist early, when you’re first struggling is so important. Whether you’re a teenager struggling with anxiety, a parent wanting to know the best way to raise your kid or anything in-between; having someone who is not impacted by your decisions and can reflect your thoughts back to you is a helpful way to better your life. It was not always easy, but for me, it was worth the journey.
Elizabeth Gibbons
“My Perspective On Counseling”
My story begins back in 2011. I was happily married to Tom, the love of my life, for 13 years. We had two beautiful daughters one in 3rd grade, the other in kindergarten. Then one day the unimaginable happened. I was suddenly widowed at 40 years old. My husband had a massive heart attack and I was left to pick up the pieces and raise my girls alone. It wasn’t easy. I felt as though I was in a fog for the first two years after his passing. Tom was my soulmate. He was the person who got me through the loss of my father in 1997, then my mother five years later in 2002. In 2004 I was diagnosed with stage 3A breast cancer. Charlotte was four months old at the time. Tom was there at every chemotherapy treatment and every radiation treatment holding my hand and telling me everything was going to be all right. To say I was devastated at losing him in 2011 would be an understatement.
I knew the girls needed to talk to someone other than myself about the loss of their Dad. The girls did see a psychologist for awhile but I didn’t feel it was the right fit. Fast forward almost 3 1/2 years later, I was referred to Therapist “X”. At this time, my youngest Charlotte, had some anger issues that needed to be addressed. Therapist “X” met with her once a week and after a few months, I could see how much better she started to feel.
I would move heaven and earth to get my girls the help they needed but I never once thought of getting help myself. I always thought I could “do it on my own.” I was reluctant to make the investment in myself. I know that when Therapist “X” asked to start seeing me in her counseling sessions, I was hesitant. I can honestly say that after almost 3 years, it has been the best experience not only for me but for my girls. They have someone other than my family (my sisters and brother) to listen to them without bias or judgment. I think hearing advice from someone outside your family circle can be helpful. Counseling for the three of us has been life-changing. I have to thank Therapist “X” for her sound advice and for pushing me out of my comfort zone.
Initially when I began to see Therapist “X”, I can remember a session where she asked if I was living or was I just breathing. What I think she meant is was I living my life to its full potential? Absolutely not. I was doing the latter. I was breathing and just trying to get through each day without the person who I loved with every fiber of my being.
I have gained so much in these past three years with Therapist “X” as our counselor. She has pushed me beyond my comfort zones, she’s enhanced my personal development and has assisted me in taking certain areas of my life to the next level.
Something I have always loved to do is take pictures. I just recently went back to school Mount San Antonio College and I’m now taking a photography class (thank you, Therapist “X”).
This was one of my goals for this year. Going back to school after so many years is terrifying but I know like anything else, I can and will get through it.
One of the biggest things counseling has done for me is it has helped me be a better mom. I’m no longer stressed, depressed or bitter. Counseling has helped me in ways I never dreamed possible. I will forever be grateful for her role in helping my family heal.
Pilar Gallagher
My Warrior Life™ Tip…
