“Giving Birth to a Rainbow Baby”
By: Porsche George
As I review my last year, I’ve overcame an obstacle that left me grieving and with a broken heart. Last year after being 6 months pregnant, I went into labor and delivered my son, a stillbirth. After that trauma I didn’t know if I wanted to try again to conceive. After taking time to process, I decided to take it out of my hands and put it fully in Gods hands no planning, no monitoring cycles but having faith that God would show determine on having another baby. 6 months later I became pregnant and being a person who plans things out, research and is transparent, I didn’t know the answers this time around. Should I tell people early on; but what of something happens and the baby doesn’t make it; do I want to go through another funeral and all that comes with it? So many questions ran through my mind but I prayed about it and left it in God’s hand. Though I took some precautions I only told my immediate family after 12 weeks and then others after the 6 month which marked my previous trauma. Not trying to overthink everything in the pregnancy, I relied on prayers, meditation and grounding to stay out my head and not over stress things during the pregnancy. For instance, did the baby moved enough during the day, if I felt something strange was this abnormal? This took a lot of being deliberate and really standing out on my faith.
After getting to a space where I was fully embracing this pregnancy. Then I had my wants of having another boy. Not trying to replace the son I lost but giving me the chance to raise a male since we already have a daughter, the fairy tale (one boy and one girl). However, God decided different and blessed us with a girl. As time continued, I learned about rainbow babies and how a child is born after the loss of a previous baby is called Rainbow baby. This concept was unique and I loved it. The community of people who have lost a baby or infant is huge and so supportive. This helped me tremendously when the 1 year anniversary came up while I was pregnant cope with my loss.
Closer to my due date I started feeling like the baby was going to come early. Then one day after work when I was 35 weeks, my labor started. I was scared, nervous but prayed for a healthy baby and started the process. Thanking God for the L&D staff I had no negative experience. They took me in smiling and offering the best course of action. After being in labor for almost 2 days my Jada came. Blessing us with her presence.
In conclusion experiencing my trauma right before the holidays did not stop my joy but did the opposite and increased my gratitude. Because I could not be here, I did not have the support of a loving family and friends. I say this to say when things happen in life try and look for something you can learn from it and be grateful no matter what the situation is because that could be the very thing that brings you out of your situation. Many women take childbirth as a nonchalant thing but it really takes a lot out of you and truly a blessing.
