Daddy’s Girls

By: Pastor Samuel J. Casey

As a father of three children two who identify as female and one who now
identifies as a transgender male I think it’s important for me to be the best example of what it means to be the first man, father, priest, provider, and protector that our children experienced. Having not grown up with a father myself I made it my intentional purpose to make sure that I was going to be what I didn’t have myself, a father. This has not always been an easy task. I remember driving home one day on the 210 freeway and in a moment of contemplation and deep reflection I found myself becoming emotionally undone and begin to cry uncontrollably. After I gathered myself I discovered that at the seat of all my emotions was the fact that I had a revelation that had me dumfounded. Get this… I was jealous of my three children. Hold up… what kind of psychosis is this?

I the father of three amazing, gifted, loving, Godly, intelligent, strong, independent, progressive, energetic, gracious, kind, reflections of myself was jealous of them. What I had come to realize was they would never have to know what it felt like to miss their Daddy, to reach for their Daddy, long for their Daddy, wonder what their Daddy was like or even contemplate his love for them. They would never have to wonder who their biggest fan, groupie, or supporter was at each and every one of their basketball games or cheer competitions. I have discovered that one of my greatest joys, achievements, and assignments on my life is being Samantha’s, Tamia’s, and Kourtny’s Daddy! Now this has not always been an easy, pain, and worry-free journey and I’ve had many days and moments that my heart ached but here’s the powerful lessons that I’m
learning:
1.) Learning to support them and with the help of the Father launch them into their destiny through prayer.
2.) Consistency is important because they hold us to our word.
3.) Words matter. Not what I say as much as how I conveyed what I needed to communicate.
4.) Spiritual, emotional, and physical presence are more important than the material.
5.) How I loved their mother and treated other women mattered because they’re watching.
6.) I had to learn how to balance and temper each of their unique personalities, moods, and needs.
7.) At times love from a distance and learn to allow them to fail so they can learn resilience.
8.) As they age balance the role of being their Daddy still with also becoming their friend as you realize they are becoming adults themselves.
9.) The power of unconditional love was my greatest lesson that I learned from my children. Because it challenged me to love each of them based on their individual love language yet without partiality.

At the end of the day, I am blessed to know that my Daddy in Heaven loved me so much and thought enough of me to mirror Him in the earth.

Raising Lil’ Ladies

Raising Lil Ladies

By Francine Cepeda Blacksher

I came up with a list of my 50 current intentional practices that have become a part of my daily routine with my daughters. This list has been developed over time. At first, I would implement one item as something to try, then after a while it became part of my relationship in raising them. When I was intentional and focused on one, it became automatic and routine. Then, I added another and found myself doing all 50 practices daily. It would require me to consistently address my own struggles and deep-rooted pains in order to gradually add one practice at a time, until it became consistent and natural.

The greatest value to this list is how you apply these items in your own life first. When you have not taken the time to work on yourself, you cannot get through these 50 things. You may not even be able to get through one of them, at first. Believe me, at times, I recognize that I am not able to do some of the items from my list. I take that moment to reflect, reinforce and refer to my list, especially number 50. It is when you are working on yourself and healing from those past situations, you can do these 50 things intentionally, even with a full schedule. My 50 intentional practices contribute to raising my little ladies and are the beliefs and standards that I hold for myself, knowing that my daughters are a reflection of me.

Value their voice
Spend quality time with them individually and collectively
Listen with your heart
Let them know you believe in them
Invite their creativity and wonder
Challenge them
Laugh with them
Dance with them
Share mistakes you made and how you responded
Talk stories
Be a visual model of what you ask of them daily
Ask them insightful questions on how you are viewed by them and how they view others
Put your cell phone down
Cook with them
Create with them
Share your struggles, journey and the results
Pray with them for others, one another, and for them
Share your positive relationships with men and women for them to see, hear and feel
Make time for them to be surrounded by the amazing women that influence you positively
Hug, kiss and cuddle with them immensely
Protect them knowing only God is their ultimate protector
Value others similarities and differences
Know your village
Sing loud with them
Write notes to them
Change up the routine at times
Hold them accountable
Teach them how your words match your actions and intent
Model humility
Model a servant leader
Tell them how much you love them
Allow them to make decisions
Teach them your energy goes where your focus goes
Take a stand for what is right and just
Greetings and farewell’s are never forced only felt
Read and watch about the journey of Jesus
Share positive words of your body, hair and physical features
Speak positively
Learn integrity
Help them to share and speak their truth
Watch who they invite into their lives
Remind them to not let anyone steal their joy, even if it is you
Apologize when you mean it
Allow God to be their greatest guide
Teach scripture
Build healthy routines
Be silly
Take risks
Trust the process and trust in yourself
Remind them we are warriors and warriors never give up

I Am a Career Woman

By: Dr. Tonia Causey Bush

How do you know when you have made the greatest impact in life? Does what you are good at coincide with what you are called to do? Does this drive the career you choose? When these forces line up, you find that you are in full alignment with your divine purpose. In my early years in college I felt that pursuing a major that would prepare me to go into a career in finances would be a good choice. I didn’t know for certain if this was the right choice for me as I just went off of what I thought that I would be good at and had the potential to make a nice living from. As I moved through my freshman year in micro and macro economics courses I grew disenchanted with what I felt was a career choice that while what I thought was a great choice for some was not the best choice for me and what I was growing to understand my purpose to be. I could not feel a connection. Through the recommendation of some classmates, I took a course on Education and Anthropology with the late Dr. John Ogbu. I immediately connected to content covered in this class including what factors motivate students to learn and how culture can compound this. Hearing lectures and engaging in dialogue on how human interactions with others can inflluence the behavior of others spoke to something in me. I was so moved and inspired from this class that I felt like I could immediately make a difference in the lives of others. I took this learning opportunity so serious that I requested a change of major with the Dean’s office.

This marked a pivotal point on my continued journey towards what would lead me to pursue graduate degrees in education to become an elementary school teacher, a visiting assistant professor, site administrator at the middle school level, and subsequently a district office administrator. My desire to pursue a career in education afforded me an opportunity to make an impact on students of all ages, to motivate them and to foster a love and desire for learning within each of them for the past 25 years.

A career can at the most basic level offer a way to make a living and to even allow one to demonstrate a talent or a gift. A career woman understands how to use her arsenal of strength and power to shift the atmosphere of her surroundings and environment to carry out her divine assignments. A career woman balances all aspects of herself including her relationship with God, her family and home, and her mental, physical, and spiritual health, nourishment and well-being so that she can remain positioned to carry out her divine assignment and calling. A career woman remembers her “Why” and uses this to never sacrifice her sense of worth and integrity. A career woman understands that a job pays the bills but a career inspires, motivates, creates change, and transforms lives. A career woman is not bound by a title, a desk, a car, house, or salary. A career woman knows that her worth could never be bought, negotiated, or bargained for. A career woman is bound by her commitment to live out and actualize her divine purpose and calling which can only be answered by offering the world her best self. A career woman accepts help when she needs it and knows that the steps along her journey we’re not taken alone. She understands that others have always been there like guardian angels sending us everything from needed resources, to hard lessons learned to providing peace of mind that your children are being safely cared for.

I honor and give gratitude to those career women who have come before me, who have surrounded me my whole life and who have made sacrifices that I didn’t have to make or consider as they made the best of their circumstances. To those women who offer the best of themselves to the world and who have availed themselves to allow the divine light shining within them to touch, enlighten and guide us all along our journey to live in our divine purpose I say thank you. I say thank you to my supportive husband for whom I am ever so grateful to for his love and support throughout my career and has always pushed me.

“Notions of Naivety

“Notions of Naivety”

By: Ufokiban Molly Edu

Imagine finding the most beautiful rainbow. It starts as a halo around the sun and all of its radiance creates an umbrella of color that you can slide down. You hop on any side because they all shine the same colors and you were always told as a child that there is a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow.

You are riding down like a slide at a water park for the first time. The colors comes so fast and feel so good. You are feeling and living every color and the euphoria makes the time feel slower.

The brightest and darkest reds, oranges, yellows, greens, and then you hit blue.

You start feeling like you should be swimming but it is just a ride so you are confident if you just remain still you will reach the gold. Then you hit the purple and you can no longer see. It gets darker and darker and now you are in complete darkness. You slip off the edge and are now free falling through an abyss.

The panic kicks in and begin to flail about hoping there will be something to grab onto. The air is changing and you can’t quite catch your breath. Right when you try to scream, the ground violently hits you. The wind has been knocked out every aveolus in your lungs and you black out for a time that cannot be registered.

A persistent ringing sound in your ear allows is what you regain your consciousness to. You know you are alive because you feel a heavy weight on your chest from your labored breathing. You open your eyes to see darkness. Everything is a foggy mental blur as you try to begin to recall what happened. You are not sure if you fell off the ride. Or if there was a malfunction. But you are scared.

You crawl around looking for the pot. Maybe you just fell to the side of it. Reaching out you cannot feel anything and now the rest of your senses are kicking in. All you feel is cold, damp, and the ground feels like you are crawling on a solid surface like concrete, metal, or something familiar yet not.

You take a breath to calm down and stand to your feet. Your eyes have adjusted and you can barely see anything. You look up and can see light, but it is so far away. It looks like the first star in the pitch of night. You notice a difference in the shade of black around you. You start to walk to find something. Anything. You are yelling, “hello!!!” and the cliches, “Can anyone hear me,” “is anyone out there?”

Your clammy hands are out in front of you reaching for anything. You manage to make baby steps with a limp generated from the fall. You try to pick up the pace thinking resolve will allow for some solution sooner. Nails jam into a surface and it feels that you have reached an end. You touch it. Lean against it and start to touch all around. It feels like the ground you were once crawling on. You start to work your way down the surface towards the floor and there is a slight curvature as the wall turns into the ground.

You keep your hand on the wall and you begin to walk with the wall. The prospect that this wall will lead you somewhere is helping to restore your hope. You even think about the gold again. So you walk. And walk. Jog for a second and realize it is not worth the pain to jog-limp.

You walk until you begin to tire. The surface of your nails have been chipped away by the texture of the wall. Your feet are throbbing in your shoes. You start calling out again. The screams are so loud they echo. All you can think is “what the hell is happening to me? Where is the pot of gold? Why is no one helping me?”

You take your shoes off and decide to walk barefooted. The coolness of the ground is the only thing close to pleasure that you have felt since the first half of this rainbow ride you decided to take. You keep walking and pondering on what got you here. “Where is the gold?” “Did I sign a waiver for this shit?” “Is someone going to come looking for me?” “What the fuck is a rainbow ride in the first place?” “Why the hell did I hop on this rainbow slide without seeing a tutorial or watching someone else do it first?”

Then you trip. You land face first barely breaking your fall with your free hand. Looking behind you, you see the shoes you had taken off 10 minutes prior. You just lay there rubbing one hand against the curvature from where the wall turns to ground.

Then it hits you.

You are in the pot. You are the gold.

“Failing as a Young Professional” A Smart Way To Deal With Failure

Monica Stockhausen

When you first encounter the failure and when you are still in the failing moment, you almost don’t want to accept it— “it wasn’t that bad” I told myself, yet the thought of processing that event caused me to turn my music up to drown out the stinging thoughts. I realized I had to accept that I did a terrible job.

I had plans to visit a community college where I really wanted to teach. My plan was to speak with the Dean and blow him away, considering that I had already applied for the job, I would at least get an interview.

The opposite happened, I was lost for words and questions, I just wasn’t prepared for his stiff demeanor. I had relied on my last encounter with the Dean where I currently work, in which I used the exact same strategy. However, that experience went smoothly and I was offered two classes to teach later that week. I thought for sure this would be that easy.

I FELL FOR THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK, SUCCESS ALWAYS LURES YOU INTO COMPLACENCY—THE GREATEST FOUNDATION FOR FAILURE.

Success only teaches you to ‘keep doing what you’re doing’. There is nothing like failure that receives the ‘teaching excellence’ award. Failure is tough to deal with and even tougher as a professional adult, because you think that you have the ability along with the capacity of resources, education and coping mechanisms to deal with almost anything. You’re no superhuman, but you can productively deal with the jabs of life, I mean you’ve probably given advice to people about dealing with failures, but there are times that you just forget that you also can choke.

Needless to say I completely embarrassed myself in front of the Dean and walked out of his office with my tail in between my legs. I felt like everything was set up for my success to speak with him— finding helpful staff willing lead me to his office, no administrative assistant blocking me at the door and he was in his office shuffling papers with the door open! I had the perfect situation. I tried to rationalize and process what I did wrong during my long walk to my car and suddenly I sped up my walk, I no longer wanted to think about it.

I knew the purpose of failure and I also knew what opportunities could possibly develop for a person who wasn’t too fragile to look for the seed of good. But, gosh, that initial feeling was hard to accept. I chalked it up as a bad day and tried to find comfort in the idea that I had another college to try. I had another chance.

Heres the thing about the second chance. I was almost too scared to jump again, to take another ambitious leap. Instead of letting failure teach me a lesson, I let it whip me into a corner; I wanted to hide under a rock. However, the fact that I had another chance to redeem myself sounded much more appealing than hiding under a rock. The redeem would come in two days and I was determined to be prepared this time, aided with fruitful questions, a genuine smile and all the charisma I had to offer. I had to face my fear of being embarrassed, but I also knew that if I had the courage to do this, I wouldn’t let that happen again.

I THANK THE UNIVERSE FOR ALLOWING ME TO FAIL AT SOMETHING I REALLY WANTED…

It forced me to acknowledge the mistake and search for the lessons that required my immediate attention. It also forced me to try again—I would of cared less to find the good in this adversity if it didn’t mean much to me, instead it did and in the words of my favorite author Og Mandino—

“The prizes of life are at the end of each journey,

not near the beginning; and it is not given to me to

know how many steps are necessary in order to

reach my goal. Failure I may still encounter at the

thousandth step, yet success hides behind the next

bend in the road. Never will I know how close it

lies unless I turn the corner.”

My second chance came and of course I wanted to avoid it like the plague. However, the need to redeem myself succumbed me. I had a chat with the Dean at the, well I’ll call it my ‘second chance’ college and it went extremely well. I did my research, asked insightful questions and handled the conversation with ease.

…But of course! There were slight bumps in the road —nothing worth having comes easy my friends.

I walked into the office and 0 out of 2 Deans were present. I woke up early, read my positive affirmations and drove a hour to get there, therefore I was instantly bothered. The assistant who I made friends with previously (this was actually my second drive there, I went the previous Friday to an empty campus) sent a few emails to check-in to see when the Deans could possibly pop in, feeling defeated, I was about to walk out until, well that is until the Dean I did the most research on walked right in and said “I hear you were looking for me”.

I had to have the conversation right then and there, in front of everyone in the office, but I was prepared for it, this time around I was prepared for anything.

The end of the conversation resulted in the Dean encouraging me to apply for adjunct positions, however full-time was what I truly wanted.

Although I wasn’t able to get the full-time position I desired, I obtained 3 valuable keys that will unlock the next door(s) of opportunity:

I established the relationship and made an awesome impression. The dean and the assistant know who I am, my abilities and what I can add to their team. This isn’t the end, I have a feeling I’ll see them again. This key will be extremely useful in the future.

I am unequivocally self-assured in overcoming embarrassing failures. I know that I can win IF I have the courage to pull my face off the floor— don’t count yourself out too early, failure is usually a set up to win in the near or far future, you never know if the next bend in the road could be your success. In the words of DJ Khalid “This is a Major KEY”.

The goal is to fail, as much as you can, to learn as much as you can. Get comfortable and be excited about the idea that your courage to do something that was fearful, will actually start the chain of events that can ultimately lead you to your long term goal. Do it afraid, you have nothing to loose but pride.

Hope this helps…

My Spiritual Journey

A Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with a Single Step…

By Kimberly Dozier

Journey – an act of traveling from one place to another.

Spiritual Journey – an act of traveling…… from one place to another; from life to death in Christ; from stagnation to new revelation; from ground zero to new levels; from glory to glory; from vision to fruition; from physical death to life eternal.

From a bird’s-eye view, this spiritual journey is full and one that never ends, once you start. Yes, it requires ACTION—both mentally and physically. I am a deep thinker. Often times I take a journey ‘in my mind’ to places I want to go, things I want to do, and even to the person I would like to become. And it’s fascinating to be where I want to be in life, doing the things I want to do, while being that person I know I can be…..but it’s all in my mind. So, what do I do with this beautiful life that resides within? For years, I carried my hopes, dreams, and desires on the inside as I journeyed from place to place. But nothing changed. Being the inquisitive person that I am, I began to search myself through and through to find out why my life looked one way on the inside but was not as appealing to me in reality. My journey within revealed a hidden treasure that lied beneath that ‘beautiful life’ I had carried inside of me all this time. That treasure was the foundation of this ‘beautiful life’. It was the undercurrent of my unappealing reality. It was the Holy Spirit, the Anointing, the Spirit of Life! This new found revelation moved me to take a leap of faith into my spiritual journey.

This spiritual journey is custom made to fit my life and my life only. No one can walk it out but me. Although there are many on the journey, I am a unique participant. My destiny has been set and my victory, assured. I have learned to appreciate this spiritual journey that was created especially for me. I love my beautiful life, I embrace my spiritual journey and I stand in great expectation of what will happen next! PLEASE JOIN ME!

There is a Chinese Proverb that says, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”. And that’s all it takes is just one step!

I was inspired to pen this poem for my son when he went off to college. It blessed us both and I hope it will bless you too…

Life is a journey full of mystery and grace

You’ve made an appointment with destiny, when you decided to enter the race

Many adventures, challenges, exploits, and strange encounters you will meet

Discouragements, heart breaks, tests, trials and other dangerous feats

As the journey continues, you’ll find yourself learning and growing by leaps and bounds

Life’s lessons will mature you and teach you how to wear smiles in place of frowns

Sometimes the journey can wear you down and cause you to doubt and look back

It’s ok to glance quickly at how far you’ve come, but be sure not to get off track

We sometimes pick up heavy baggage and unnecessary loads along the way

Always remember to examine the load & make a decision of what must go and what will stay

This journey is so full of ‘let downs’ and ‘pick ups’, it’s just like lifting weights

But don’t worry, it’s all a part of your work out plan; don’t give up—keep up the pace

At times, the walk will get tiring and even seem lonely, dark and cold

Just remind yourself that you’re a survivor, you are a conqueror, courageous and bold

You will meet temptation, negative influence, mischief and liars along life’s trail

Be steady, stay focused and be convinced that with GOD you cannot fail

As you progress on your path to destiny, the mysteries will begin to unfold

Keep moving, striding, pressing, pushing, and reaching for the gold

Whatever your desired destiny is, pursue it and never give up on your dreams

For with FAITH all things are possible and with CHRIST you can do all things

Your future is very bright and full of God’s mercy and grace

You have everything you need to run this race

Now it’s up to you to step out; for you have been trained, primed and prepped

Life After Graduation… What’s Next?

By Nia Bush

Life after graduation has taught me that things are not always “that deep.” Meaning that throughout life, things are going to happen. Regardless. All the time. So if I immerse myself in a situation (good or bad) that happens, then I will not survive mentally and emotionally. When I finished at Spelman College, my plans to attend law school immediately after graduation did not fall through. This was the first time my life plan got thrown off. I endured a long period of sadness that was induced partly by hearing “What’s next?” hundreds of time as though I couldn’t just soak in the fact that I was graduating from the top HBCU in the nation with high honors and had worked hard those four years to accomplish several academic and extracurricular achievements. So once Summer was over, and most of my peers began to start law and grad school or their full time jobs, I decided to use my time outside of an academic setting (the first time in 16 consecutive years), to look within. This journey of internal exploration and healing is what taught me the most about life after graduation and life in general. I learned that the essence of who I am is not what I have built Nia to be. I am not my 3.7 college GPA, I am not any of the things I have done, I am a conscious being witnessing it all. So when I experience situations in life that produce feelings of emotional pain, I know that the feeling- the specific emotion- is not attached to me. The emotion becomes like a wild horse that I can decide to hop on or off of. It does not mean that I don’t cry, it means that I allow myself to cry even harder because I know that releasing and allowing the feeling to pass through is what will make it not stick to my heart. After graduation I did not feel like myself. I felt as though I was in a dark box that had no opening. When I realized that dark box was my mind, I decided to get it together. I practice watching my thoughts as opposed to letting my thoughts consume me. Distinguishing between my thoughts and my inner voice has been very important. Our mind is so powerful that it can literally amplify a situation in our head that we perceive as bad, then that causes us to experience low frequency emotion, and depending on what we know what to do with that emotion, the thought can cause an adverse reaction physically. In order to access your inner voice, your mind has to learn how to be quiet so that you can hear it. Your inner voice, This is a life practice though, and I have not reached ultimate enlightenment, but I have started the journey to become resilient to life’s situations. As I prepare to start the next journey, law school, I know that I will need to rely on what I learned this past year more than ever before, but I also know that no matter what obstacle is in my way, I will be okay.

I Am A Business Mogul

By Natalyn Randle

When you think of WomanpreneurSHIP, you think of resilient woman whose cup is overflowing with gifts to share with the world. This statement is certainly true Natalyn Randle, the 57-year-old business mogul responsible for creating countless opportunities for businesswomen of color around the globe. As the CEO and Founder of Black Business Women Rock (BBWR) and Ease on Down the Road Home Improvement Referral Service, I exemplify the essence of a businesswoman who rocks for all the right reasons.

While most wouldn’t dare reinvent the wheel after working for the same company for 30 years, I decided to take the road less traveled when I retired from AT&T. In a dire quest to live out my purpose. I acquired my real estate license and eventually became CEO/Founder of Ease On Down The Road Home Improvement Company establish in 2007.

The key to ditching the daytime monotony and exploring the idea of full time entrepreneurship took lots of prayer and meditation. “Taking a leap of faith and believing in God to lead and guide me opened up many doors of opportunities,” One of the most important mindset shifts that instantly opened my eyes to being a business owner was to create my own blueprint and understand how to run a business. I had to put away FEAR and pull out FAITH to not only serve me but to serve others.

In the mist of building my home improvement business I wanted to do more to serve others. September 10, 2011 God bless me with another gift. Black Business Women ROCK! An organization to connect and transform lives in many ways. This platform was created to identify women with visions, dreams, character and self-love. This vehicle is to unite, promote and acknowledge our voices. I inhale and exhale everyday thanking God for using me to display and demonstrate love. Most of all to change lives.

“I am who God says I am. Speak it, Live it & Trust it”

Life After Divorce

By Jamie Allred

Wendy asked me to write a few words about my experience with “Life After Divorce”. I met Wendy as I was going through a divorce after 32 years of marriage. My daughter Katie & Wendy were attending the University of La Verne’s Masters Program for Marriage & Family Therapists. They became great friends and helped each other succeed in their profession. I would like to thank Wendy for her unconditional friendship & support to my daughter Katie, as divorce affects the whole family.

It makes you question your purpose in life & challenges your beliefs in God, Faith & self.

I believe marriage is a union between 2 people sealed with the blessings of God. When that union is broken by abusive behaviors, such as lying, cheating, and physical or mental abuse, the union with each other & God is broken.

This is my story after 32 years of marriage. I had my heart & soul shattered. My mind was in a fog and daily task became unbearable. I had to come to the realization that I was the only one fighting to save the marriage. I spent all my energy trying to save him and in the process lost my myself. As the song goes, I felt I was

“NOT GOOD ENOUGH? NOT SMART ENOUGH?

NOT PRETTY ENOUGH?”

My spirit was broken and at that moment I got on my knees and surrendered to the Lord. I set my ego aside and allowed God to start the healing process in me. I realized it was not my job to save him but to save myself and become the best version of me through prayer & counseling. I will never forget my first counseling session with my Therapist who stated, “Everyone has a set of knees to kneel on and ask for help. It is not your job to get on your knees for someone else. When they are ready they can get down on their own knees.”

I have learned to “Let Go & Let God” and ask for his daily guidance. I work on my physical, mental & spiritual well being, through prayer, journaling, inspirational reading, healthy food & exercise. I believe today that love flows from within, outward. I forgive and love myself so I can fully give that Love to another human being. I deal with issues in a positive way by evaluating the situation, seeking advice from people I trust, and taking it to prayer.

I listen, learn and keep my ego to the side so it does not block God’s will. I am truly happy and know it is not another persons job to make me happy. My relationships are healthy and as I tell my family, “ I have retired from being an enabler.”

The work I have done to improve me and create a new & beautiful life has opened my children’s eyes to look at themselves and make positive changes in their lives.

The best compliment I got after several years of divorce was from my daughter Katie. I said to her, “ I am so glad that she gets to see me whole again,” and she said to me, “NO MOM, I get to see my mom whole for the first time in my life.”

I was told during a time when I was at my worst, that one day I would wake up and Thank God for the journey he sent me on. Today I can say, Yes Lord, Yes Lord, you were right. Thank You!!!

THE Struggle To Juggle It All

By Imani Nash-Bey

Let’s face it there simply aren’t enough hours in a day to make it all happen but somehow that reality never seems to stop me from trying…and on most days succeeding. I’m a mom, a wife, an educator, a business owner, a student, a daughter, a friend…most of the time and all at once; I am so many things to so many people. I often have to take time out to ask myself who am I for myself. In my role as an educator, I have my students complete an “I Am” poster at the beginning of each school year. This past academic year I decided to participate and do a poster alongside my students; I really wanted to get to the heart of who I am as a woman, independent of the many hats that I wear. It was a daunting task. I spend so much time looking outward that when it came time to sit down and focus on myself it became the thing that overwhelmed me…the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back; imagine that! Much like this blog post, that poster forced me to remove the hats and allow space for vulnerability and introspection to reveal what’s real. It was the epitome of all challenges but I’ve never been one to shy away from a good challenge and I wasn’t willing to start now.

And so began this journey toward self discovery…well…sort of. Turning forty a couple of years back was the true catalyst; with this milestone came a heightened sense of self awareness and a re-commitment to honoring my whole self. I, like most of the women in my life, tend to define ourselves by what we do rather than who we are. It was time to peel back some layers, get deep down in there and roll around in the muck a bit. Someone once told me that as women, “If we’re not careful, the hats we wear can very easily become our greatest barriers to living our best lives.” I’ve carried that with me for much of my adult life. Each of my hats calls on different parts of myself, often to the point of stretching me thin. I’m working on prioritizing self care along with showing myself kindness, compassion and forgiveness especially in those times when I don’t get it right. I prioritize these things for myself because my well being is equally as important as a completed to-do list. I won’t pretend it’s easy, in fact some days the only self care I can reward myself with is sleep and so I’m learning to be o.k.with this too.

People ask me all the time how I balance it all; the truth is I’m not entirely sure. I suppose it helps that I love my life and family, I’m passionate about my work, and I’m learning to fully love myself for the woman I am and the woman I’m becoming. I’m a mom, a wife, an educator, a business owner, a student, a daughter, a friend but I’m also a talented black Muslim woman that’s humble, thankful, entrepreneurial, and incredibly strong willed who’s simply trying, just as we all are, to get it right.